An Editing Break

So, I'm taking a little break to show off some projects that I'm working on/finished.
Here are Patrick's completed socks!

And here is the Clapotis scarf I'm working on for me!

 

The clapotis is a drop stitch scarf (I'm only half done) the pattern can be found for free at Knitty. The yarn is Ella Rae lace merino purchased at one of my LYSs. It's kind of a dream to knit with.

Editing: Mind, Body (okay, and Page)

And by mind, I mean my stupid, fucking, novel. Okay. It's (I hope) not stupid, but it's stressing me the fuck out. I'm just frustrated, mostly because I want to write it but also because I realized that editing is not just something I do on the page.

My rough drafts (like many of my life attempts: love, education, career) are a total mess. Yes, there are are lines that I absolutely adore. But sometimes, you just have to hit the delete button. Kill your babies (maybe not the most politically correct phrase but that is what it feels like when the only thing you parent are words on the page).

In addition to editing my disastrous and insanely incomplete novel, I'm editing my life. I'm making necessary changes. The biggest is getting healthy. I think it's going to happen. Slowly, but surely. The good thing is, I'm more excited by this than I am to write. Wait. That's no really that great, but I'll take what I can get.

Here's my big problem: Performance anxiety. The minute anyone asks me to do anything related to writing, health, etc, I get really excited (see beginning of NYE Challenge) and then I get really paranoid about failure/rejection (see inability to finish NYE challenge). Someone out there wants to read my work and maybe represent me. I told this person I would send them a sample of my work and that I only needed 2 weeks to give them a solid sampling of my work. What happened? Paralyzed. Can't write. Don't want to write. Hate writing. The same applies to the gym. I'm on a roll, people are beginning to expect things on me (at least I think they do) and then, what do I do? Fuck. It. Up. (not quite, I mean a total of 17 workouts and 6 feats, not a win but not a total FAIL either).

Things I'm going to edit from daily life: Booze (not including the wine I'm drinking now), Restaurants (left over from the DIY feat and going strong!), laziness (yes, you), and most importantly, fear. I'm going to root out that thing that keeps me from accomplishing the goals I set for myself, and bury it where I can't see it.

What am I talking about? Oh yeah, editing down my life to make it better. Much like Gordon Lish did to Ray Carver's stories.

Dinner

Ah, another Friday night. This is dinner. It's simmering now and it smells delicious! After I eat, it's back to business. I'm giving up social knitting to stay in and edit. I've been thinking about editing quite a bit lately, so stay tuned for a nice long post about it.

Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned by Wells Tower

The sound of an author reading his own work can change everything. That was the case for my experience with Wells Towers' Everything Ravaged, Everything Burned. I rarely ever buy hadrcover books. In fact, I have a rule about it (debut novels from people who went to my program or Sarah Lawrence where I went to college, Andrea Lee, Jhumpa Lahiri, and ZZ Packer. Everyone else, well paperbacks will do me just fine). I had reads the title story some time during my first year of grad school, it's featured in the Anchor Book of American Short Stories. I absolutely loved it! It was exciting and fresh and most of all risk taking. I've taught it to my students in the past and they've often exclaimed that it was the most interesting thing I gave them all year (so not true). Needless to say, when I saw that Mr. Tower, Wells, if I may was coming out with a collection of short stories I headed right over to the corporate bookstore I (used to?) work for and picked up a copy.

It wasn't what I expected. For a girl who writes pretty straight forward fiction I love to read things that are a little off kilter. I love Ryan Boudinot and George Saunders and Kevin Brockmeier. They write beautifully weird, fun stories just like ER,EB. But the collection I picked up did not resemble the weird worlds I was looking forward to. And that's ok. I mean, we write what we feel, what we see and what we want, no? So after reading two very well crafted stories, I put the book down, it got added to the list of story collection I own and will probably never get through. But then, he came to town and I'm a sucker for a reading. Especially when I'm not head over heels for the book.

Hearing an author read his or her own words aloud sends a little tingle down my spine. In a good way. It gives me a chance to see my craft at work. And, I like that. It also make me feel as though I am somehow closer to the words I'd read or at least, closer to the author of those words. Attending a reading can sometimes make me more interested in the work. This was one of those times. It didn't hurt that he also read a story that I hadn't made it to in the collection. It was by far one of the best readings I've been to in the two plus years that I've been here. It was a lively reading and the story was funny. It strayed away from what my friend called "dick lit" when describing the lone story of Wells' that he read (coincidentally, it was one of the two I'd read myself). It was a story I could appreciate. After the reading, I got my book signed (those are such awkward moments. What do you say besides, I enjoyed the reading"?), said so long to friends, grabbed a slice of mac and cheese pizza (the BEST thing EVER!!) and went home to put on my pj's and crawl into bed with the book I'd just been listening to.

Well, I had the slice, I was in my pj's and tucked into bed. An hour later I was at the local "writer's bar" (yes, we have one and I love it and all its dirtiness) shooting pool with Wells Tower. I love this town so and I will miss it when I'm gone. This would never happen in New York. He was, unsurprisingly kind, funny and inquisitive. I would have thought being on a reading tour and going to a bar only to realize you were at the watering hole of every writer in town would drive a writer batty but, he seemed like he was having a good time. He and his friend put up with my impressively bad pool skills. He asked me what I was working on and we talked a little about fiction. And, the quickest way to win me over? Offer to buy me a drink, and then do it. Done. Done. Done. Did I mention my team mate (his friend) and I won? Maybe we won due to some bad advice given to the opposing team, but hey, it can't always be a moral victory.


But back to the work.

It's interesting to me that almost everyone I've talked to has found some fault with the collection. I've been trying to pin point what it is exactly that isn't grabbing us. Today, I finished reading the story he started at the book shop. What I had liked so much two days ago had disappeared. I've been talking about this with every writer I know who went to the reading/read the book and I think at dinner tonight we came up with an answer to the question. These stories are so well written, I mean, this is a man who knows language and knows how to make it work for his stories. But, just when things are getting to the point when I'm about to start rapidly turning pages and my heartbeat is gaining speed, I read the last line. The risks that were taken in the title story didn't show up in the three that I'd read. But what can you do?

All that said. I think you should go out a get a copy of this book. There are so few well written short stories out there, that when one comes along you need to check it out. I'm still looking forward to finishing this collection, I'm sure it will provide more surprises with regard to language.

Belated Birthday Socks for P

Well, I have what feels like a million projects on my needles. I've put most of them aside to work on some belated birthday gifts. These are socks for my good friend Patrick. The yarn is Araucania Multy Itata, a lovely yarn made of silk, wool and bamboo. Patrick picked the yarn via cell phone pictures and clearly he has a good eye. The pattern is one I found on Ravelry and the pattern is called Globe Trotter socks by Jodi St. Clair from Strings and Yarn. 

I've already turned the heel on the first sock and am working on the instep. Hopefully, sock number one will be done by Monday and it's on to sock #2

Happy All The Time, Laurie Colwin

Ahh....Happy All The Time. It makes me sigh with happiness every time I think about it.

Granted, I read this book a couple of weeks ago, but I can't help from spreading my love for it. My friend Ann aka The Knitting Queen introduced this book to me. It's her favorite book (of all time I think) and after reading it, I totally understand why.

I read this book on a day when I was taking an energy sabbatical. No lights, no TV etc. What a way to start a day. Picked it up at 8 and finished it by noon. It was absolutely delightful. I haven't laughed out loud a book (in a good way) in a long, long time. The titles kind of says it all. It's a happy novel, which is so different from the novels I or any of my friends are writing. I mean, who has it in them to write a happy novel, what with this economy, February, Haiti, etc? But this book doesn't shy away from sadness. There are times when the utter confusion and sadness of the characters clouds the novel, but it never overshadows the general happiness of their lives, or, in some cases, the possibility of happiness.

When I finished the book, I wondered why isn't everyone writing happy novels? Why am I not writing a happy novel? It reminded me of what I think is missing from today's literary scene, the freedom to be happy, to recognize that good literature doesn't have to bring you down to be good. I'm writing about it a few weeks after reading but I'm feeling inspired to try and write a "happy" story.

The Rundown: The characters are endearing and the prose energetic. I'll probably read it again, there were many choice lines I'd like to jot down. Pick it up , I highly recommend it.

Next book: The Yiddish Policeman's Union by Michael Chabon.For real this time.

Fresh Start

I recently shut down the blog I'd been writing for nearly four years. The title of that blog was The Indulgence of Self and prior to that, I called it Voglio Essere, which is Italian for I want to be. At the time, it was a necessary space. But as I move into my *gasp* thirties, I realize that I know what I want to be and self absorbed ain't it. So I decided it was time for a blog that focused on the things that were really important.


So a bit about me. I'm a recent graduate from an MFA program in fiction writing and while I'm enjoying a year long reprieve from the "real world"; that is, a 9 to 5 job and life in a big city (aka my former life) I'm working on my novel, a few short stories, a stack of unread book, and a lot of knitting projects. I might even throw in a word or two about my attempts at personal fitness and some pictures of my work as an amateur cook.


When I left the city, I was really excited to learn how to knit. When I was eight or nine, my grandmother taught me how to crochet and I never really learned anything beyond basic scarf making. But since my move, I've taken up knitting in a serious way. This picture is of one of my favorite projects so far, The Daphne purse from Knitting Little Luxuries. It's a herringbone stitch pattern and the yarn is Hempwol from hemp for knitting My gauge was off but I liked the way the bag came out in the end. The pattern was easy to follow but a little repetitive.  Totally worth it in the end. I machine and hand sewed the lining, with a beautiful turquoise and fuchsia fabric I bought at one of the LYSs in town. The original bag was embroidered, but I don't have the patients for that, so I went on a button search and sewed on these beautiful and unique buttons I found in a couple of different states.

This is a scarf I made when I was just starting to get back into the habit of handling yarn. I made this light green scarf for one of the writers teaching during my first semester of grad school. He's doing splendidly now, and I like to think of him wearing the scarf I made into fancy parties with other writing luminaries. It's crochet even though the book under it is a knitting essential.